The Masks We Make
Sometimes the masks we wear reflect what others see—or what we think they expect. But what about the person underneath?
I had a few questions hit me this morning as I was getting ready and putting on makeup.
Who was I getting ready for? Is my makeup my mask for the day?
Going-out makeup is different from work makeup, which is different from seeing-family makeup. So let’s take makeup out of the conversation, because it got me thinking about something bigger.
Some masks are easy to spot.
Saying “I’m fine, I’m okay” when you know you’re not. People assume you are, because that’s what you said.
Humor covering discomfort, literally smiling through pain. People see you as funny.
Giving when you have nothing left. People see you as generous.
Strength when you’re scared. People see you as fearless.
Then there are the quieter ones.
The patient who navigates scary medical situations with quiet strength and force. The person who shows up looking healthy, when no one knows it took three hours to find the energy to get ready and just show up. The host who brings everyone together when it feels like things are falling apart.
Sometimes the masks we wear reflect what we think others expect of us. The funny one keeps joking. The strong one keeps holding it together. The generous one keeps giving, even when there’s little left to give.
And the person underneath? Sometimes all they need is permission to just be.
I talk with people who are happy in some areas of their lives and drained in others, so I’ll ask you what I ask them:
What mask are you wearing?
Who’s under it, and what makes that person feel fulfilled?
What does the person under the mask need today?
Here’s the thing. People see the mask we’re willing to show. But what lies beneath, that’s who matters.
Not the well-made-up face that looks “healthy.” Not the one who makes everyone laugh or feel comfortable. Not the one who takes care of everyone while sacrificing their own needs.
Some masks protect us, and that’s okay.
We’re not one-dimensional masks. We’re human. What we do, and what we say to ourselves under the mask, matters.
The person underneath is the light that brings every mask to life. The strong one, the kind one, the smart one, the funny one, the one everyone else sees as amazing. They show up as whoever they need to be, in that place, on that day.
Maybe we don’t need to take off every mask today. Maybe we simply need to remember that we’re the ones who made them. It’s not the mask that makes you, it’s you who makes the mask.
So here’s a reminder, the one I needed this morning: no matter what mask you’re wearing today, you bring light to the world for being you, not because of the mask you wear.
— Rossana